Things to remember when sepanx hits

1. money
2. routinary job is boring as hell
3. you want more math in your life (business math, never thought i would say this but damn i miss you.)
4. you never wanted to stay in the corporate world, Maye.
5. you're tired of talking to people who are trying to impress you because it's a bloody job interview. you want to talk to people who are unmasked and shows you a little bit of soul. hence, your next job.
6. Ram won't miss you if he sees your face at least 8 hours a day
7. in relation to #7, it would be really nice to finally ask him "how was your day?" and actually look forward to what he has to say because it's no longer a recap of what you saw the whole day since you were sitting right in front of him in the office.
8. more time to travel and write and for leisure in general. yes, life!!!
9. quit procrastinating! it's about time to step out of your comfort zone.

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After a year and a half, I finalized my decision to leave my job. And two days before my last day, I found myself scribbling this list on my notebook to brush off the budding separation anxiety. Truth be told, this was the most heartbreaking decision I have made as an adult thus far. I spent my last two days moping about leaving. But I'm twenty-three and I've run out of excuses to stall.

Growing up in a family of salesmen and entrepreneurs, I never really understood why all the great managers I've met choose to become employees instead of running their own business. In my eyes, the corporate world was a slave chamber. But of course, it was an exaggerated perspective thanks to my father's brainwashing skills. I had my fair share of corporate slavery like any ordinary employee trying to make her way up. I had to live on a tight budget, work extended hours (even as far as sacrificing my weekends) with no overtime pay, and get temporary credit for paramount effort yet reprimanded and remembered for the tiniest mistakes. I could not imagine those who made it to their middle ages in this setup.

During my first two years in the corporate world, I tried my hardest to conceal disgust when people let the business wring their talents dry for a little price. But as I grew older I realized people simply want different things. Some cannot afford to lose the security of a stable income while some really just enjoy being part of an organization and play a vital role, be it big or small. Not everyone was born with an entrepreneurial mindset- and that's not a bad thing. Come to think of it, if I were to be offered a job that pays Php 50k a month and a business that generates Php 30k net profit monthly, I would most likely still choose the latter.

It's called passion. In my three years in the corporate world, that's something I never had. And what you don't have, you won't understand.

If I were to be totally honest, there was a point when I have grown to like my HR job like "Hey, I could do this for five more years". But it was just a fleeting feeling like happy crushes that come and go. Taking off a job has become as easy for me as Barney Stinson sneaking out of an apartment window post-booty call shenanigan. My relationship with my previous jobs had a No Strings Attached sign hovering above it. But it was honestly more difficult with my most recent job because no matter how much I hate to admit, I've grown very much attached to the people I work with. My stay was coupled with good and bad days but it was mostly exhausting because I was prolonging my agony doing something that was not in line with my future endeavors. My life in the corporate world was similar to what David Levithan would call unwarranted devotion. Putting up with the fear of being with the wrong person because you can't deal with the fear of being alone. But I was getting used to the routine and that was my queue. I would have to say it takes a lot of courage to walk away from something you're really good at to embrace the uncertainty of finding a great love.

Business is my great love.

My Myers-Brigs Test says I'm an INFJ. I was bound to dislike a normal job. I like working. But not being confined in an office building 5 to 6 days a week with a fixed pay. I want a flexible and balanced schedule that would let me juggle work and leisure. I want to do sales. I want to do business. I want to write and travel and see the world. The problem with a corporate job is they pay you by the day, not by effort. Your effort gets paid later on during an appraisal. The thing about me is that I am impatient and I want my effort and earnings to be directly proportional, which is exactly why I am a corporate misfit. Plus, in almost 3 years of employment, I am certainly not proud of the earnings I made. Some young adults my age are after the experience and not the money, but I'm just the type who believes you can have both. Maybe a few years from now I would actually want to get married or open a business that would require a huge capital. I need to earn because I have a near future to secure.

Post-despidida

It's been a week since my last day and though it feels liberating I still kind of miss the office and my friends. It was a big career shift for me finally entering the realm of sales and business but for now I know this is what I have always wanted. I know twelve year-old Maye who was just dreaming of entering La Salle to pursue a business course and become an entrepreneur like her parents would have been very very proud.

One step at a time, Maye. One step at a time.