Progress check: How far in life has your IQ taken you?

Sunday, May 28, 2017 2 comments

In my pursuit of success and happiness, I have early on found that intelligent people are not necessarily the wealthiest, neither the happiest. Intelligence often comes with pride, and too much of it becomes poison. Having a respectable position in the corporate world demands time and effort, blood and sweat, but intelligent people were given a natural advantage so you won't see them clamber as much. I know of a woman who claimed her VP title at 40, earning enough to provide for 3 children. She was an eloquent speaker, a good decision-maker, a natural critical thinker  known to carefully assess every risk that comes her way. I guess this is a norm for intelligent people, their brains are wired to find microscopic loopholes. To be honest, she was a little crude. It was difficult to tell if she was happy. Maybe being built to question everything gets in the way of happiness. It's hard to find joy when you always have to think about the flip side of the coin, when you are curtailed by having to make thoroughly weighed decisions because it's what an intelligent person would do. An intelligent person shouldn't fail. Or if life really wills it, fail but be able to count it with your fingers.

The person she makes decisions for on the other hand, has a long list of risks taken, trips and falls. He has eaten failure for countless lunches and dinners, coming out of it scathed but brushes himself off to try again. Great scientists and the world's top business tycoons were not necessarily textbook-smart and on top of their class. Being academically-inclined does not guarantee a financially stable and happy life. My manager once told me a story in the middle of our one on one meeting, how he took pride in his fancy behind-the-desk job and focused on carefully plotting his timeline on the road to becoming CEO. At the same time he became a VP with more than enough to provide for his family, the salesman he and his colleagues used to poke fun at already owned a multiple-storey building and a few luxury cars. In this narrative, I don't mean to imply that all intelligent people are not capable of taking risks on the road to success. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is not your intelligence that will take you all the way to the top, but your values.

At the age of 24, I never took things easy. I took two jobs and drove myself crazy trying to think of other ways to monetize my other skills, but often I am hindered by the negative thoughts that come out of critically analyzing things. It was the downside of being taught to make intelligent decisions, you automatically think of how a plan could possibly fail so you can weigh the outcome. More often than not, the thoughts discourage you before you can even come up with a contingency plan. And oftentimes, I end up taking the safer path. It's because I felt it was the smart way, or because I was too proud or entitled. I didn't want to get my hands dirty. I asked my dad who used to be a working student and has been running his own business for over 2 decades. He, like his friends, almost graduated from college but had to choose work. Everything our family has, including my degree from the top business school in the country started from his efforts of knocking door to door, sneaking past guards, and flirting with secretaries to sell office equipment at the age of 18. He was bold in taking risks, and told me that he had to do it because he did not have anything else. "Who would hire and promote an undergraduate?" He said. "I had to build everything myself." He was never at the top of his class, but my father had guts of steel. And if I were given a choice whether I want a high IQ or have my father's dauntlessness, I would probably choose the latter. However, there is no rule that says you can't have both. Some things that were not naturally given can be taught, like dancing or playing the piano. Having the right mindset not excluded.

Generally, it is not the purely intelligent, but the wise who reaches success first. I merely used money and possessions as exhibits of people's success but it is not the same for everyone. Success is subjective and ill-defined. Is it the glamorous job title? The fat paycheck? The hefty bank account?  However we define it and whatever drives us to it whether intelligence or ambition, I hope we never compromise our happiness. There is too much pressure in this life yelling at us to pick up pace that we get absorbed by the non-existent competition. We become too consumed by our own pride and intelligence that we ignite pointless intellectual debates, look down on people and propagate hate. One of my favorite movies hit a nail in the head with the line "Do want to be right or do you want to be happy?" It's true. The most unfortunate thing that could happen while you chase your dreams is dropping your happiness along the way. 

You can be smart and have a lot of money, be defined as successful by those who look up to you, but only in getting where you want to be with your values and happiness intact is where you are truly successful. Let's do ourselves a favor and guard them most.

2 comments

Reynier Chua said...

great read! :)

Maye said...

Thank you, Chino! Expect i'll be reading your blog too haha.

© 2015 Southern Belle ALL RIGHTS RESERVED • BLOG CRAFTED BY THE MODERN PAGE