Today marks the end of my first trimester in graduate school. The grades have finally been released! I barely made it to the finish line as I crammed my final paper undergrad style, but no matter the outcome, that was my final hurdle this term and my mind is still (somehow) intact. I made it!!
Okay it wasn't really all that bad. I know I love what I'm doing and that's probably one of the very few absolute things in my life right now, but just like every relationship, my affair with graduate school has its flaws. I entered grad school with so much enthusiasm that I shamelessly published my excitement on every social media account I have but there's no denying my down moments in the middle of the term when I would feel like I sent myself back into the pit of doom with this decision of going back to university. I graduated from college barely two years ago so I didn't think my brain would be so rusty. I swear I did a lot of coping that I think I might have pushed myself a little over the edge with my disgusting overthinking habit. It was a fun trimester as I opened myself again to the world of academic learning but environmentally, I had a lot of catching up to do. It was very exhausting. Most of my classmates are already in their late 20s or early 30s while here I am, a mere 22-year old. Maturity isn't about how old you are but since most of my classmates have been running their own businesses for years, I feel like an inexperienced young girl who just barged in too soon. Like how far have I gone? I haven't contributed anything significant to the family business, let alone put up my own. I have no capital, no startup experience, and still in the early stages of adult life. And so far, I suck at it. Most times when my classmates talk about their achievements or how their businesses are doing, I couldn't help but feel like a child dragged by her parents to their high school reunion, or a fourteen year old sneaking into the premiere of an R18 movie . But academically speaking, it was tough but bearable. It's supposed to be since I only took 3 units instead of the recommended 6 units. 3 hours and 15 minutes of class per week and countless hours of reading and meeting up with groupmates for case studies wasn't that bad when you quit the job you were supposed to be juggling it with. I was aiming for a 4.0 but anyway, not bad for starters.
Adios, first term!
P.S. I will be on indefinite leave from graduate school. Too soon but duty calls. Anyway, that's for another post altogether.
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