Second Chances

I sit here agitated as I contemplate and assess myself. I am half-filled with self-doubt and undeniable longing for something I have always wanted. I finished my exam in an hour and about 10 minutes. I am not at all confident about it. I had a lot of misses which cannot be blamed on my IQ, rather on my recklessness. For someone who claims to have excellent time management skills, I felt like a fraud. But at this point, nothing more can be done but to believe in the power of prayer and hope God wants this as much for me too.

I said goodbye to my spot at the corner of the old library and the memorable hours of study and vandals I already memorized, as it is now being restored for something else. And then I said hello to Henry Sy Library, the newest pride of DLSU. This might claim a huge portion of my criteria for wanting to pursue further studies here and nowhere else. Libraries have always claimed a special place in my heart and this could just be the niftiest university library in all of Metro Manila (biases aside). But more than that, I love La Salle, I love business. There is a reason why this place always smells like home. I graduated but I never really left this place and the many lessons I picked up from my more that 4 years of stay. This place transformed me from an innocent, jologs fifteen-year old to an aspiring businesswoman with big dreams. Maybe that's why I feel like there's always something to be learned within these halls. It molds me to become a better person, again and again. Some nights of study were torture but it's the challenge that stretches you to an unbelievable extent and you come out of it better and alive. And that's because it's the kind of old love you will always keep coming back to. It's not pure torment, it is replete with every rewarding feeling.

I found my new spot here at Henry Sy Library (if ever given the chance to continue my studies here) while scanning Whitman's Complete Poetry and Selected Prose. As I clicked the lamp open I hoped that a few months from now I would be reading business books again for main course, with novels and anthologies on the side.