Random drama

Being alone makes way for lunacy to take its grand entrance. Even the shortest while of solitude sets the red carpet for loneliness to hog the limelight. "You fought so hard to put yourself back together, then you fall and break all over again", I thought of it over and over, and everybody knows the point, it is after all conventional on so many levels. But it's different now, I didn't just hear the line from anybody, I heard it from myself, I came up with it, which made an eerie difference, and it struck like a secret conviction I committed and hid from myself. There is an enormous gap between being the listener and being the one who feels. Was I wrong for eradicating the past opportunities? Could it have been a better chance to enhance immunity? To pain? To rejection? I was always afraid. The tears I've shed lately could be counted, and I believed tears were meant for other people-- weaker people. But I feared too. And even though I barely shed emeralds of tears, or held myself back because my eyes were welling up, I was weak too. And you'll never know how.

"You always fall for the wrong person". Maybe I should stop telling this to everybody else, stop complaining about injustice. And start telling this to myself.