Preparing to self-destruct in 4.. 3...

When you attend Sunday mass and father says "let go of your anxieties", how exactly do you follow and learn to let go? How do you really let go of what's been eating on your insides for so long, and lead yourself to the threshold of acceptance?

It's cryptic.
For pain disguises itself in a coat of phases, all of which gain access to our weak/er/est points. It occurs for a split second, that a self-destruct button might come in handy when the situation ignites itself and the heat of the moment becomes unbearable. Some people, have so many things to accept, and yet there's a lack of reason, and too little faith to work things out. It's when daddy won't buy little boy the mini bike 3000 unless he gets straight A's in school. It's when a teenage girl spies on her crush every morning only to find him walking one day hand in hand with the most popular girl in school. It's when a college student fails subjects that's about to cost him 5 more months in college, and delay his graduation. It's for a girlfriend who cannot forgive her boyfriend for sleeping with the last girl on Earth she expects him to sleep with. It's for a wife, who just found out about her husband's infidelity.

Don't you wish pain killers were effective enough to reach these things?

Life won't run smoothly when we let the ugly past take the pilot's seat. However, there's the irony that the more you try to forget, the more you remember. No matter how the passage of time gives you a reason to accept, you'd still wish for some way to delete it. For yourself, for someone else, or for the good of both. It's true that most wounds leave a scar, but I hope it's not true that some wounds never heal. I wouldn't want to be running away again.

...2...1.