Skip a beat

I'm sitting in the dark, two and a half hours past midnight, in this same old dining room breathing that familiar home-y air for almost 17 years. I feel strange, like my heart momentarily collapsed. This is what it feels like to succumb to your inner self. When your thoughts are heavy and suddenly you blurt out something that would make others feel bad. Then it triggers your sense of guilt somewhere beneath you, and immediately, you step on your pride and almost drop down to your knees only to let the heartbreak quickly dissipate. Because it tears someone apart, while you stand still, wondering what to say next. Sympathy was never an option, I love you just isn't enough, I just needed to speak. "All the things I needed to say but didn't know how to" Nobody said it was easy. But in time, we'll know, we'll know.